Seems drama has hit my group of friends once again and over something as silly as a party. Seems tivial, but everyone is all up in arms about it.

Last night the fan on my video card was going out and causing my computer to crash... and in our attempts to discern the problem.. we totally destroyed the fan. Later, in a fit of "let's do something crazy that might save David 200 dollars" we went and bought a 2 dollar tube of epoxy.

It can hold 3500 pounds per square inch, it's waterproof and can stand temperatures between -40 and 200 f. We glued a grand 'ol fan onto it. I was always raised with computers being very cut and dry. Everything had a place to plug it in or screw it in and it all fit perfectly. So gluing one broken component to one thing onto the broken component of another, jamming it back into the computer, turning it on and having it work was something of a miracle. It was good. I wouldn't normally do it, but it worked and I'm glad.

So thanks to that... the 80 dollars my dad gave me for christmas to go toward a nintendo DS... got me a nintendo DS this morning. I have been immensely enjoying the Metroid Prime Hunters demo. It's a real first person shooter.. you actually have to aim, unlike the other metroid prime games, which is interesting and fun. I really like it and plan on playing more of it. But I'll also be buying Mario 64x4. I really wish I could play with the picto chat with people though.

I find the regular stylus is best for messing with the options and for picto chat, but... the thumb stylus is the stuff of gaming. Whenever I fire up the actual game, on the thumb stylus goes. I wish the designers would give me an option to use all the buttons in my own personal configuration, i'd actually rather lock on in MP:H since I can't increase the touch screen sensitivity. Actually, heck, I would like the ability to do that too. Either way, it could end up being a very cool game. I'd like to see a real time strategy game on it too though.

Miss Taylor is gone right now, so I don't have anyone to talk to. I'll probably play more Demise. I really owe Miss Taylor a lot of thanks, she reminds me to blog every day, and with her off shopping yesterday, I let the games make me forget. So, to whoever reads this, my appologies for not writing in it yesterday.

BTW, I'm really enjoying the book Rogue Warrior by Richard Marcinko. Jake let me borrow it, and it's very cool.

Anyway... Off to the party tonight, and, I'll see you all next year. Muah!

Last night was very cool. Dad was particularly thrilled with his christmas present, but, to date, I still can't figure out how to get it running on his computer. Mary Ellen Liked her present too. I may have to find another chess program for dad if this one wont work, even though this one was the best ever, and I was lucky to find it.

They got me a really cool book by the poet Rilke, who, my dad discovered, actually worked as a receptionist for the sculpter Rodin. The book is about his experiences with Rodin and I'm looking forward to reading it, but I have to finish reading the book I borrowed from Jake first, and so Peter and the Starcaqtchers will now be pushed back 2 books on the list instead of just one. Sadly, I've already finished the Far Side collection I got for christmas, not so sadly, I loved it.

Been playing the game Demise constantly... Got stuck in the Sorcerer's guild... so now I'm in the Artisan's guild. Level 16 sorcerer, level 11 or 12 artisan. Very cool game. I've started kicking ass on level four. It's sad, I had some AWESOME monsters fighting with me... 2 Illusionists and a dragette.... but I was going down and I saw a crowd of full fledged magicians and I started a fight with them. They were so powerfull not only did they kill all my companions, they tore me up as well. I managed to get out alive and get back up to the surface, but it wasnt easy. Those guys had done SO much by my side, which is unusual for creatures that join the party like that. I was really angry at myself for losing them, they could have done so much more good.

Well, dad and Mary Ellen didn't make it home last night before I ran off with Mike, Zac, and Emily to see the Aviator. It was pretty good, enjoyable, but I really wouldnt want to watch it again. It ended at one in the morning and I decided as I walked to my car, it really wasn't the time to head back to dad's house. My call this morning corfirmed my feelings, Mary Ellen had gone to sleep at 10:30 at night. 1:15 would have been way too late. In a way, I was relieved that she didn't say 3 am. Then I would have felt silly for not coming over.

So, I'll be on my way there right after work. I have a few last things to pick up there, and some food I'm gonna eat for dinner.

Before the movie I bought a book. It's a prequel to Peter Pan co-written by Dave Barry and some other guy. I love Dave Barry, but I just have trouble imagining literature spouting from him, so I'm skeptical, especially considering how much I love peter pan.

Wow, it's amazing how, with 2 days off... someone can accomplish nothing. The first thing I actually did this long weekend was go to the movies on saturday. I mean.. not counting friday night and saturday morning with my mom and her husband at her house. That stuff doesnt count, I was going to do that anyway, being with family on Christmas is a must. We watched movies and we cooked shrimp... lots and lots and lots of shrimp.

Got a new recipe that I really like...

Take the largest shrimp available, clean and butterfly it, fold it around a sliver of cheese and a sliver of jalapeno, wrap it tight with a slice of bacon, then melt some butter saute some garlic in a frying pan, then put all the shrimp youve made on a flat survace, fill the bottom with the garlic butter sauce so that all the shrimp are soaking in it, then sprinkle with black pepper.

Cook for about 25-30 minutes. It's an awesome recipe. I just about orgasmed eating them, and they let me take about 9 or 10 home with me. None of my friends would try them, even though they were amazing, hehe, oh well.. their loss. I enjoyed eating them all day sunday, a few at a time.

The movie we saw on saturday evening was "the Life Aquatic" with Bill Murray and a whole crew of other cool actors. It was a great movie. I loved every minute of it. Not sure if I'd want to see it again though... it was pretty slow moving. Maybe after it's been a while I will.

Anyway, that sums everything up to date. Will write more tomorrow... will try to do it before I play Demise so that I dont try to write it all in the last 10 minutes before I leave work.

I know what to give to Sophie for Christmas. What dog wouldn't love to chew on her favorite political figure of the century?

Last night was fun. We hung out for a while at Wendy's. Mike, George, Chris and I, and from there we went to Specs. We made some careful New Years Eve selections to accompany the normal mixed drinks that are becomming popular in our circle. Mike will be getting a bottle of Sherry, which will be totally new to me, as I've never tried it before. From there it was off to EB games where we met Kevin and Russel. We had a blast loitering and chatting with the employees who were stuck there. From there, we went to H.E.B. to pick up all the required ingredients for beef jerky; or, as jackson likes to call it, citrus meat.

We use the zest of one naval orange in the marinade, partly because of the strong aeromatic oils in the zest that strongly brings out the flavor of the habanero as well as adding a distinctive flavor deep into the meat without being overpowering. Unless of course, you dont like citrus meats.

After that, we spent a good deal of time at my house, Kevin was invited, but failed to show. Mike was the first to leave when he recieved a call from his ever demanding family, after sampling the new vodka we had selected for the cabinet. After this, Chris, George, and I all watched Cartoon Network and worked dilligently on butchering meat and preparing marinade and mixing and then chilling the beef jerky in the refridgerator. It should be ready for dehydration later this evening.

After all was said and done, we went our seperate ways for the night and this morning I began reading the book that Jake loaned me a few days ago, Rogue Warrior.

That's that I guess. Will write more tomorrow.

Last night was pretty cool. Taqueria Arandas was a nice restaurant, but I was ultimately disapointed, the food wasn't really any cheaper than anyplace else I've eaten. The food was still really good though and I had flan, which is muy delish.

We all played hackey sack and goofed around with Jackson and Marcia in the Benegan's parking lot until it was time to head home. Tonight, we plan on making beef jerky, which should be delicious.

I signed up for Composition and Rhetoric II and Microcomputer Applications as a distance learning course. I then spent a lot of time online studying the interface for the online class and I'm really impress with the way information is presented, and tests and assignments are given and graded. It was a lot of fun to spend the afternoon exploring it all, I had been really nervous about trying something new and it felt really good to have my fears alieviated.

My stepdad's birthday was today, and last night, I was supposed to have a grill for Marcia.. it was her birthday, and she made me promise. But I didn't get reminded, so I didn't get a chance to cook fajitas for everyone. Happy birthday to both of them.

Well, till tomorrow... ciao.

Well, for once, it was a very nice slow weekend. On friday night I started off with diner with my Dad, and Mary Ellen at Hasta La Pasta, it was delicious. I love roasted peppers, and the sauce was awesome. Also the wine my dad picked to go with dinner was excellent, a little strong. Didn't bother me much though, I never have more than one glass with dinner.

After that I went home, planning to get just a few things and then go to dad's house. But the phone call to Mike led me to discover that everyone was going to the 10:50 showing of A Series of Unfortunate Events. It was 10:40 when I found out. I got there after the first two previews and got to enjoy a really fun and cool movie. I especially loved the end credits. Didn't get home till very very late though. Stopped by IHOP and spent some time chatting afterward. From there I went to my house, Jackson and Marcia came with and spent the night. I didn't find out till just now but Chuck kicked them out at 6:30. I woke up and left my room around one in the afternoon, so I thought they had just left without saying goodbye.

I spent most of saturday lounging around, playing KotOR II, taking extra naps, etc. Eventually, around about 12:30 I went and drove to my dad's house to begin my house sitting duties. It felt pretty empty and dark without puppy, who I love, but who I could not guarantee 10 days of care for. I would have felt bad leaving her outside as much as I would have had to. Especially the weather we were having a week ago.

She was always so sweet the way she'd sleep on the foot of the bed or on the floor in the same room.

Sunday, I went to eat lunch with Mike and did some Christmas shopping. In fact, I did most of my Christmas shopping. After that I was pretty tired and didnt feel like spending money on anything else so I canceled plans to make beef jerky with Chris. He didn't take it well, but I really couldn't do much about it, I couldn't just hang out with him at my dad's house, because it was my dad's house, and he got mad. Said he was planning to pay for the beef jerky, but that he wasnt now since I was cancelling plans. Don't really know what that was about. Felt bad. Anyway, going to diner with everyone tonight at a new place in the humble area... Taqueria Arandas. I've heard they have a lot of really awesome food for cheap.

Anyway, that's the news for the day. Weekend. Whatever.

KotOR II is an awesome game. I am really loving every minute of it. I got my truck back and it drives fine, but the clutch feels uncomfy. Later tonight I will be meeting my dad. After that I'd like to see A Series of Unfortunate Events. It looks like a really cute movie and I have loved Jim Carey ever since he did the Truman Show, and the Cable Guy.

Last movie I saw was a few nights ago, I saw Ocean's 12, which surprised me. It started out feeling like a cheap excuse for a sequel to a good movie, but then it got really good and explained everything in a way that was most agreeable. Yesterday, when I left for work my Xbox cable got left at home. I think Chris disconnected it from my Xbox so that I wouldnt take it to work with me so that I could play KotOR II yesterday. I dont know why he would do that. Anyway, I found out later that night when he and George came over and we watched Flight of the Pheonix, the original from way back when. Anyway, I'm not going to deny Chris from coming with us places if he asks, but I'm tired of his fits when I ask him to go home when he tries to stay the night and the next day without asking. Especially since Chuck doesn't like people spending time there without me. It imposes on my friendship with Chuck in ways that I can't let happen, because it's important that both Chuck and I are happy since we both rely on each other for half the rent.

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not going to tell Chris no when he asks to hang out with us, but I really don't feel like inviting him anywhere after the way he's been acting. I feel really guilty about this decision since he bought me a really cool shirt the other day. Well, maybe I will invite him places. I dont know what to feel. I dont know how to deal with a friend doing the things Chris has done recently. I'll think of something.

Anyway, it's a lot to think about.

Thanks for reading, anyone who does.

The trouble with being legendary:

It's impossible to find real information about someone who has become a myth or a legend in one way or another. There is, quite simply, too much to sift through. Some myths and legends are tougher. The more people who believe false things, the tougher it is to find true things. Take, for instance, Adam Weishaupt. I have come to believe that he was, in fact, an incredible man who is partly responsible for the ideals of enlightenment that have spread through the world today.

Only once have I ever found his teachings and they were quite beautiful to read. They will be quite difficult for anyone to ever find again, as the page no longer exists. It's tragic, really. So, last time I found it, I went through the trouble of making a copy for my own personal uses. Maybe someday I'll find other, similar, teachings, and maybe I never will. Maybe it will be up to me to teach the things I found. Today, I have only found accusations that he was a demon worshiping spreader of lies throughout the world. A lot of people feel the free masons are evil, I for one don't know. The illuminati certainly isnt what a lot of people believe it is. In a way, it is more simple than I could have ever dreamed, and yet it escapes the grasp of all who seek it wherever they go.

Sometimes a legend can become even more real than the truth that birthed it. It lives and breathes and propogates itself, become a new sort of reality.

Well, I am buying my truck today. My boss is paying for repairs and then I wiill pay him back as payment for the truck. Then it will really be mine. THat's pretty cool.

It also makes all the things I've been afraid of for the last few days better. I may have the truck back by the end of the week. And that is really cool. THank you to everyone who told me that everything would be okay.

Other than that, I would write much more, but KotOR II becons... A beconing that I must answer. I love you all... good night.

Last night started out incredibly awesome. Left Chris at my house during the day to play KotOR II all day long while I was at work, and then I went straight over to my mom's house and from there to the Toyota center with her husband and his daughter, and we all watched the Trans Siberian Orchestra show... It was AWESOME. Literally, the best concert I have ever been to in my life. The lights were amazing, the fog, the pyrotechnics.... some of the scenes were mindblowing. During the beginning of the fifth symphony, the fires they sent up for each of the first notes sent enough heat for me to feel from the top of the nose bleed section.

My nephew is adorable, and he never ever cries and he sat through the whole concert and smiled and drooled. He's really cool. He'll grow up to be a good guy.

After that I went back to moms house and then started the long drive home and had my transmission die about 3 miles away from home, so I stopped at an auto shop. In the morning I went to them and they charged me 40 to tell me that it wasnt my clutch, and then 350 to tell me that the transmission would be 2100. So, 390 to tell me that my car is junk. 2100 is more than the car is worth, so my boss says it's not happening, so now I am trying to find a new car, and I think my boss is looking for one too. There are gonna be people praying for me and helping me out. It feels good to know that people love me.

Well, didnt make it to exercise this morning. Stayed up way too late last night playing KotOR II and Vampire the Masquerade. Awesome games. Vampire will be much more fun to play when I get my new ram in the mail in a few days.

It was a great weekend. I did really well on my final art project, which I put a TON of thought into as it was very difficult subject. Myself. I've always been very iffy on the subject of me. As far as I'm concerned, the Jury is still out and there isn't much to say on the topic till more is known. So, 3 weeks of thinking about the project, then a few short hours pumping it out. It was very nice to have it done by 2 am on friday night. 5 hours to sleep, then school, then working for Chuck till 5 in the afternoon. The balloon gig on saturday that I did for chuck went bad. Too many people working the booth, price of balloons was too high to sell them, and Chuck couldnt be there. There were a LOT of things that were pretty clear that Chuck could do better if he ever did this again, and it does get his name out. I think he should do it again, and make some improvements to his business model.

After that I went to dinner with friends, and then off to see Blade Trinity together, which was much better than I thought it would be. Bad, but tons of fun.

On sunday I spent all day with mom, visiting the Merry Christmas Tree Farm and then eating dinner with them and getting home by 9:45 to spend time with George, a friend of his who's name I cannot spell, and Chris. George and his friend left at 1 am, but Chris and I stayed up playing games all night, so no exercising this morning. We'll see about wednesday.

well, looks like I totally forgot to fill this up the past 2 days. That's pretty negligent of me. If I'm going to keep this up I need to make sure I'm more regular so that I don't just end up abandoning it for months and months at a time like I did at the end of 2003.

Past two days I've spent a lot of time hanging out with Chris and George. Can't hang out with anyone tonight, because I have to do my final for art class tomorrow morning. Also, Chuck is hiring me to help him out with his balloon work tomorrow for 20 dollars an hour for a table at some type of gathering in Kingwood. Should be pretty cool.

All this week I made beef jerky, spicy, and watched the Bourne Supremacy while I ate it, and we watched Joe vs The Volcano... awesome movie by any standard, it's absolutely loaded with all kinds of symbolism. And then last night we mostly watched normal tv after hanging out at EB Games with our friend Kevin. It was plenty of fun. Everyone enjoyed the jerky, and we also found a really great website with recipes for mixing drinks. Mike has been too busy working for class to do anything at all, even eat out with us.

Anyway, more details about last night... around about 11 o'clock, Chris remembered he needed to be home early so that he could get plenty of sleep. He has started to go to the exercise sessions that one of the army recruiter officers runs on monday, wedsnday, and friday every week. He does them just for himself, but because other people show up for them, he sort of runs them like a class almost. It's extremely stressful. Anyway... back to 11 last night. I have this issue, where I want to do everything I possibly can, challenge myself in new ways at every opportunity. So I mispoke and said, " Hey, Chris, that sounds pretty cool, mind if I come too? "

I say I mispoke, because I thought this was an opportunity to better myself and challenge myself. At the time, I was unaware that it was an exercise in pure masochism in its unadultered state of existence. So, Chris says, "Sure, if you're not at my house by 5:48, I'm going to go ahead and have dad drive me though. " THen, I'm all like, cool. So I take Kevin and Chris home and then I go to sleep at midnight and set my alarm for good ol' 5 am so I can be at Chris' by 5:30 all ready to head out.

I should have known it was a bad sign when I got to Chris' house and we were talking and he asked if I'd had anything to eat that morning, and when I said no, he said good. It's never good when you haven't eaten. And if, somehow, you find an activity, such as exercising with an old army officer at 6 in the morning, where not eating is good, that excersise is inherently BAD.

We get there right on time and the festivities kick off with some stretches, then some simple jumping jacks, followed by some other warm up exercises. This was then followed by REAL excercise. Pushups first. I made it almost half way through the 110, maybe I did around 40, but ten of those were "Girl" pushups when I ran out of steam. I dont know what followed the pushups, because I was in the bathroom, after careful navigation to the restroom, vomiting. I considered it a major accomplishment having not vomited on the way to said rest room, as I was sorely tempted to. It was chili, though you wouldnt know to look at it. It was as if the exercise had caused my body to reject all the unhealthy things I had eaten in the past three days. It wasn't very fun. Not very fun at all. So, I finally recover and when I get back, theyre doing sit-ups, and by this time, Chris, who is by all means the healthiest specimen of humanity on the entire earth, not counting the man leading us as he is not human, was looking as though he was ready to spill his chilli too.

Now, as ANY one of my friends can tell you, Chris is a wiry little mof0. He ran track in high school, he climbed up to the very tippy top of trees for fun when he was less than sober. This is the boy who was able to scale a pine tree with no limbs as though he were a tree frog. I've never seen this man PANT, let alone gasp for air, and certainly not go pale, double over and pray to the porcelain goddess. After the situps we went to the restrooms for water, except Chris, who took the time to go and let out the previous day's dinner.

Apparently this isn't a first for him. Last time it was chilli too, only it was brought on by some eggnog he drank before going to exercise.

After this we did a few other aerobic excercises, of which I was able to keep up with. I think I did pretty well, since, I have not exercised in years, literally, and worse, I have NEVER exercised like this. I knew it was bad, I always knew that. Why, oh why, did I let the world tell me I needed to go through this to stay healthy. Anyway... so, after that... Jogging. A mile and a half. I made it three quarters of a mile before I doubled over and crashed and was told it was okay to walk back and meet them. Once there we immediately started stair climbing. Except for Chris, who was headed back inside the mall... I deeply suspect for more vomiting.

Against better judgment, I started this too. Against my judgment of self preservation I LISTENED when the guy who was going VERY slow and encouraging me kept telling me I could do it. When I absolutely could not anymore, I stumbled off to one of the pillars in the parking lot, unable to move. Well, for the most part, I managed to double over and vomit the water I had drunk mid session, a single sip, along with the very last flecs of anything resembling food in there. A few tomato chunks it looked like. Really, it was more like retching and gagging and it was all I could do to keep from getting it on my hands as I let loose on the parking lot.

Eventually I regained my composure and capacity to stand, and then to standing upright was the next achievement. Stumbling to where they were only just finishing the stair climbing was the last step. That was the end of that, they told me I did really good for a first time, and I certainly thought it was nice of them to say so. After that I took Chris home, he was sitting in the car, I would have gone into the mall looking for him except I glanced at my truck first and noticed the passenger door was open and thought that it would be a waste to go into the mall again if there was a chance he was just sitting there waiting for me, and lo and behold, he was. Then, I got some gas, a sandwich, orange soda, and a glass of water for Chris before we got back to his place.

Orang soda makes everything better.

After I took Chris home, who I found out had not slept at all the night before, I went straight back to my house, where I crashed onto my cot. It was a beautiful. I was complete. I dreamed that I was meeting Mike and Chris and George and Kevin in the mall for food and I got some food that kept magically appearing and disapearing from my tray whenever I looked away, and more interestingly, the tray itself with all of it's contents disapeared when I walked away from the counter and forgot about it. Very fun, Chuck went to a funeral for a woman who died at his church day before yesterday, and then I went to work. And that, my friends, is my story for today.

You get to hear a repeat of it when I go exercise again on monday. But.. I dont think I'll be eating anything on sunday evening.

Today I have spent the majority of my time stumbling, reasearching Knights of the Old Republic II, looking for Cthuugle and other such meandering activities of relatively little signifigance. They are of course all related, though I coulndn't or shouldn't say how. As for why, that's getting into philosophy so you might as well make up your own reason.

Last night I started a batch of beef jerky which I seasoned with 5 habaneros. I'll let you know tomorrow how wickedly hot it was.

Last year around this time of year, a little earlier actually, there was a very bad man sniping at people. The good folks at local media stations of course felt the need to sugguest that perhaps it was someone who had played the attrocious game Sniper one too many times. As it was, this thoughtless, base, and totally inacurate accusation assumption lead Gabe of Penny-Arcade fame into a rage. Not the bad sort of rage. The kind that feels that his people have been deeply maligned and that all of us [gamers] as a community should stand up and do something so good that our hearts couldnt even be questioned. And so, Child's Play was born on a whim in a weekend only a month or so before christmas. Last year they raised upwards of 250 thousand dollars to give to the Seattle Children's Hospital in games and cash for the children to play to bring them as much joy as possible during this season.

They're doing it again this year, and it's bigger. They're spreading the love over the country this time, and everyone who can participate, should. Go to their website and give a child something good for christmas, you'll feel good.

I wish people read this blog. It would be cool if someone actually linked there because of this. At least I know one person is reading *wink*

Well, turns out prince of persia is really good, despite Ubisoft's best efforts to screw it up for all the people who thought the original was just fine. I've got homework to do tonight, need to draw some outdoor environments with graphite on the average sized paper. And i really should be farther along in my final project than I am... which is.. i haven't started it at all as of yet.

I really dont know what to say, I should have written this earlier when there was more on my mind... guess I'll leave it at that.

It's a beautiful day, I'm loving the cold weather. This month really is an untold haven for gaming... really truly incredible. Half Life 2, Vampire, Pirates!, Metroid Prime 2, Prince of Persia: Warrior Within, etc. Anyway, i'm having a blast, I'm between 1/4 and 1/2 way through the masquerade, and my first pirate is growing old without finding all his family. I dont know if he's going to.. he has managed to save his sister though. THe wind is ALWAYS going west.. so anytime i want to go east it's a nightmare.

Anyway... Watching awesome shows on tv right now and flipping through GURPS planning a campaign. Catch you all later.

HL2 Deathmatch came out... and it is awesome. Tons and tons of fun. I love playing catch with the gravity guns. The computer at work died today mid day and I spent most of the day going just a little bit more insane than I used to be. Talk to you later.