I Have Not Been Myself

In my profound grief, I have allowed myself to be impatient.
In my impatience, I have allowed myself to be angry,
In my anger, I have failed to be at peace,
And through my weaknesses, I have not been who I want to be.

I believe the most important things in life, are integrity, though this may mean different things at different times.
It means doing what you think is important even when it is very difficult,
And part of the challenge in life, is deciding what is important when there are conflicts and mutually exclusive needs.

This is why it is hard to say that anything anyone does is wrong, as long as it was done with integrity.

At this time in my life, integrity means accepting my pain and being there for the people around me,
Continuing to grow, continuing to believe.

I have known for a very long time that my belief in God must be unconditional, either unconditional disbelief,
Or unconditional belief.

Pain and suffering visits the innocent and guilty alike, as well as good fortune and happiness.
It is a fallacy to believe that misfortune is any more a sign of God's absence than fortune a sign of presence.
Knowing this means that once decided, my faith will never waiver. I believe in God, however,
I believe in a God that visits pain and suffering on those that love God as well as those who do not.
My faith gives me no comfort in times of grief, no strength in times of abundance.
Life is suffering.

My faith gives me strength, and resolve. I believe that it is my responsibility to make this world better,
for those who come after me, as well as for myself. Art, music, love, children, charity, solace.
If every misfortune was visited with anger, revenge, the destruction of art, the silencing of music,
Then the misfortunes of the world would be magnified a hundred times. It is through, not simple forgiveness,
But a complete acceptance of life's suffering, and a magnanimous response of creativity, patience,
And understanding that healing is propagated instead of deeper wounds.

Shared pain is lessened, shared joy increased.

Share.

Today, I share music:



How lucky can one guy be;
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?
The room was completely black
I hugged her and she hugged back.
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinning;
I go to sleep and keep grinning;
If this is just the beginning,
My life's gonna be beautiful.
I've sun- shine enough to spread;
It's like the fella said,
"Tell me quick
Ain't love like a kick in the head?"

Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?

Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"
My head keeps spinning;
I go to sleep and keep grinning;
If this is just the beginning,
My life's gonna be beautiful.
She's telling me we'll be wed;
She's picked out a king size bed.
I couldn't feel any better or I'd be sick;
Tell me quick, oh ain't love a kick?
Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head?